Nicole (Lady of the larynx)'s Cancer Blog

Cats aren't in it for the cancer

I’m fairly certain that all the major researchers in radiology have been feline fanciers. I have nothing to base this on, but I like believing it anyway.

When my radiation oncologist said he was referring me to get pretreatment PET/CAT scans, I wasn’t worried. I had no idea what PET/CAT meant, but my husband Don and I did have pet cats. Silly me, the PET (or domesticated) scan stands for “Positron Emission Tomography”; and the CAT (or feline) scan stands for “Computerized Axial Tomography”. ......At home we call them “Tonto” the male orange tabby, and “Skittle” the female siamese.

Living with cats, you learn really fast that cats are God’s way of saying, “You have cancer; so what? Where’s my kibble?” When you’re a cat person, there is no “cancer card” nor force of nature that will stop your cats from making you trip when you’re desperate to get to the bathroom. Of course they’re also cuddly purr monsters; it’s just that cats don’t hand out hall passes, to anyone.

Since finishing treatments almost a year ago, I’ve been trying to regain my sense of balance. Unfortunately, I can’t count on kitty cooperation; in fact their flair for balance creativity is often at odds with my vertical well being. Tonto will suddenly be in a mood to “own” my legs in mid step; and Skittle bounds around without warning, vanquishing one invisible foe after another. ....You would not believe how fast invisible corpses pile up in her wake; it’s a miracle neither Don nor I have tripped and fallen.

Still, there have been moments during this cancer fight when I’ve actually taken inspiration from Skittle’s daring warrior readiness. I especially admire her determination to remain ever vigilant and, when necessary, battle her tail into submission. Poor dear has no choice; her tail viciously taunts her, from somewhere behind her own butt. And though victory is never assured Skittle fearlessly claws and bites away, until her tail is caught and swears allegiance, for now. Tonto, on the other hand, will have nothing to do with tail wars, nor anything else which might interfere with aloof napping. When he’s not busy owning everything in sight, Tonto’s agenda is to communicate “F__k you.” loud and clear, while curled up in a dead sleep.

To be honest, there are many offsets to Skittle’s inspirational qualities, most notably her recent change in napping behavior. She has decided that my laptop is the best bed in the entire world. When I’m working at the keyboard, Skittle will circle my chair and find the right moment to force her way up onto my lap. Then I have to type at arm’s length to keep her from curling up on my keyboard. For her it’s great sport, waiting till I’m out of the room to deftly claim territory and type away, with her butt. ....We suspect Skittle wants her own email account, and may be trying to upload videos of herself and Tonto grooming.

I wouldn’t mind her butt entries, except we have opposite tastes. I like my emails without frills, while she prefers flair and Yahoo “Liam Stationery”. Thanks to Skittle, suddenly one day “Stationery” was being added to every e-mail I composed. It wasn’t until writing to my step-mom about her sister-n-law’s cancer that I noticed “Liam: Crowd Surfing” framed the bottom of the screen. Beyond unsettling, our little Skittle.

Then there was the folder fiasco, when Skittle decided to rename my “Medical” folder, to “2mbvfguj tc70i789vnmj7”. To give me no-brainer access, Don had put the folder on my opening screen. Little did I suspect that it would thus be a piece of cake, or rather butt work, for Skittle to rename my “Medical” folder, as she curled up for a keypad nap. Thankfully Don was able to retrieve and restore my “Medical” folder name, before I lost access to all my letters to doctors, about radiation side effects, requests for pain meds, and migraine meds, etc.

And so I wonder; if the radiologists ever got wind of some real pet cat stories, they might consider new initials for those PET/CAT scans.

[[]] [[Yes,_there_will_be_scanning.]] Yes_there_will_be_scanning

Posted on March 9, 2012 at 3:35:58 PM by Nicole (Lady Of The Larynx) (Cats aren't in it for the cancer, 17 comments, 613 views)

7 people like this.

Kathysman sent you a hug.

I can imagine your cats doing all those things lol. They seem like fun to have around, even though they require attention. Great story!

Posted on March 9, 2012 at 3:50:01 PM by Paul

This is so funny! As the “owner” (read “slave”) of four cats myself, I could totally relate to all of this. i will be looking for Tonto and Skittle to show up on Youtube one of these days, complete with catfood ads on the side. Hugs (cat hair not optional)! Ann
PS Be grateful that your cat only sleeps on your keyboard…a friend of mine got hers peed on one day when her cat decided that she’d been paying a little too much attention to the computer.

Posted on March 9, 2012 at 4:55:49 PM by Ann

And the THANK YOU award goes to .......

In the spirit of awards season and Valentine’s Day I’d like to give special recognition to what knocked me into decisive See-Doctor mode. Of course this led to getting biopsied and diagnosed, and eventually my starring role as an extra in the cancer wars.

So I’m here today, not quite a year post-treatment, to finally present my THANK YOU award.

The nominees are:
1) Recurring sore throat- best performance of a potential life-ending condition.
2) Lingering vocal problems- best choral rendition of “This needs to be checked out.”
3) Nagging voice in my head- best unnerving soundtrack
4) Michael Douglas- best solo “be here now” publicity tour

DRUM ROLL

THANK YOU

Without further ado, the award follows:
c/o Further Films, Inc.
100 Universal City Plaza, Bldg. 1320, Suite 4G
Universal City, CA 91608

“Dear Michael Douglas,

I’m writing to thank you for saving my life. ...Ok, so you didn’t jump in the river to save me from drowning, nor pull me out of a burning building. But you did go on the David Letterman show and talk about your throat cancer in the fall of 2010.

Naturally you were there to promote your movie “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”. You were also there starring in your own life-threatening throat cancer “reality series”. And you were willing to talk about it. You held my full attention as you described your symptoms; like that tricky sore throat, same as I’d been feeling on and off for months.

My throat doctor had seen nothing suspicious that summer. I got the old “Come back if it gets worse.” shrug off. And of course it didn’t get worse; it just kept hanging on, like a bad relationship. I told myself it wasn’t serious, and pretended that I actually had a choice to ride this out.

Fast forward to that October night, when I just happened to turn on Letterman and see you calmly describing what could have been my throat. I thought you were unbelievably generous for describing something so personal and vulnerable to the entire world.

That night I decided to go back to the throat doctor. By early December the tumor on my larynx had been biopsied and I was on my way to a treatment plan. There were many times during radiation that I had doubts about making it through all 7 weeks. Then I’d remind myself that you had gone through this and more.

Though at least a year overdue, my “Thank You” seems to have picked up a little steam. Besides untold gratitude for your candor, I’d also like to thank Catherine Zeta-Jones, and the rest of your family and friends who stood by you in this cancer war.

From the heart of the Mission Dist. and the streets of San Francisco, I remain a grateful survivor and Michael Douglas fan.” ************************

Does anyone else have a THANK YOU award they’d like to share? Is there a “sweetheart” in your life who got you out of that procrastination rut?

3 people sent you a hug.

Love it, Nicole – did you send your letter? My thank-you goes to the tumour itself – it got sick of sitting in the dark being ignored so had a coming out party which involved drama – finally I had no choice other than get it to the hospital. I thank my body for manifesting the disease somewhere where it could be got at without too much fuss and the tumour for managing its boundaries / keeping the misguided cells in check (not letting them wander too far). Big gratitude to the surgeon who went in and did what he could to remove the tumour, to the trainee nurse who washed my back with a warm flannel when I was weak and confined to a wheelchair after blood loss, to the snr doc who sat on my bed and said, it is shit, there is nothing else to say, to the radio oncology team, to the young intern doc who looked like Tom Cruise and had made an art of finding a vein, to the taxi driver who drove me to my daily radiation appts., to my son who was there an whom I love so much and of whom I am so proud, to my cats and dog who kept me company without making any demands, to my friend Ruth who played scrabble with me on fb nearly every day for 18 mths, to my friend Clare who was always there on skype with wisdom and wit, to Tim, Matthew, Tom, Donna, Jackie, Lynn, Hilary, Peter who surprised me with gifts in the mail … it goes on – I would be up there weeping and humbled! thank-you, Nicole for encouraging me to take a moment to voice gratitude! love to you xx

Posted on February 12, 2012 at 2:14:56 AM by Private User